Sunday, December 30, 2012

The Sarah who smiles again.

While at my friend Jenna's house, I did something a kind of reckless... I dyed a lock of my hair black. (We also drank sparkling cider out of shot glasses, which was a little too much fun.)

So probably not as cool as you thought, but I have to start somewhere, right? Anyway, the newly blackened lock of my hair isn't the point. The point is this:

When I got home, I asked my Dad if he noticed anything different about me. He said, "You're smiling today."


In the past, I've always been crazy about smiling. I remember Cameron Comer once remarking that I "smile too much." I would walk through the halls of Lehi just smiling. For no reason! Even when I was having a bad day, I would smile. Over the summer, I would walk around campus smiling. In July when I started my job, the girl who trained me kept looking at me weird. She finally asked why I was smiling at 5 am. I didn't know. I just smiled all the time.

But I lost that part of me.

I let my emotions take over. I let my depression rule my life. Happy Sarah hasn't existed since September. She made random appearances, but never stayed long. I regret that.

When my Dad noted that I was smiling, and that made me look different, I immediately made it a goal to smile more.


Because I worship the almighty God. I worship His Son, a perfect and loving Savior. Sitting next to me on the couch are the scriptures, translated into my language. I can read them any time I want without persecution. I have three beautiful sisters who are caring. I have the funniest brother-in-law in the world, who is everything I've always wanted in a brother and more. My parents are the two greatest people I've been privileged to know. They are patient and understanding and loving. I attend the most academically competitive school in the state that is both challenging and nourishing to my spirit. My tuition is paid for. I have the opportunity to serve a mission. My mission is paid for. I have compassionate friends and roommates. I went on over five dates this past semester, which should be a freshman girl record. I have a body, a home, food, and modern technology. While growing up, I had tremendous leaders and examples all around me. They still care about me today. I really can't even begin to count the blessings I've been given. I have every reason in the world to smile.

And so, today and tomorrow and the next day, and the day after that, and even the following day, I will smile. If things are happy and joyful and beautiful, I will smile. But if not, I will smile anyway because life itself is happy and joyful and beautiful.


  1. You Miss Sarah are an inspiration...not to mention really cute. Love ya muchly!

  2. Well Azya, you are one of those people for whom I am super grateful!! Loves to you too:)

  3. ..."life itself is happy and joyful and beautiful." And so are you my precious daughter. (The Dad)