Monday, March 18, 2013

I hope they call me on a mission!

Well, it's been another crazy week for Sarah Kala Crandall. 

My mission call has yet to be assigned. Today is day nineteen of waiting, and I have at least nine more to go. Unless if my call isn't assigned this Friday, in which case I'll have to wait longer.

I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I feel a hit to my self esteem. I feel inadequate, and unworthy of being called to serve a mission. Why else would my call be delayed longer than the prescribed "two to three weeks?" I know I have a couple medical concerns. I had to have a second evaluation, where I was told I might not able to serve until August or September. 

So much anxiety. Way too much time to feel it all in me.

I also know that these kinds of thoughts aren't from the Holy Spirit. His messages to me are kind, uplifting, and full of light and truth. I'm trying so hard to focus a particle of faith on a belief of my individual and infinite worth. This is definitely my biggest weakness, and I hope that it will someday be a strength.

Other happenings: I performed in spring sing (wooooo?), scored well on a business finance test, had lunch with some good friends today, took an outdoor nap over the weekend, and I'm looking forward to lots of happy times as I finish out my second semester at the Y!

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