Tuesday, March 5, 2013

John 15:13


I got up at 3:45 to make breakfast for Clarissa. She works an early morning custodial job, and I wanted to surprise her. When I finished, I made a quick bathroom stop before heading back to bed. This is where I saw him. 

Mice, rollie pollie bugs, flies, whatever. I can handle that. But spiders? They are the most evil creature I have ever had the misfortune of coming into contact with. Just ask Amelia--bless her heart--who has killed multiple spiders for me over the years.

I couldn't just leave him there, right? He was in our bathroom closet! What if he crawled into Amanda's hair blow dryer? Someone's make-up supply? Or Q-tip box? Seriously. I had to take this spider down.

First, I could hardly see without my glasses or contacts. A pair of Clarissa's sat on the counter. I slipped them on and prepared myself with a giant wad of toilet paper and the trash can. Then I stared at the spider for the next five or so minutes. My heart was pounding incredibly hard. I heard Clarissa's alarm go off, her hit snooze, and go back to sleep. I was still paralyzed, too nervous to make a preemptive strike. 

(I'm not even lying about this. I really did just stand there and stare at the spider for a couple minutes, trying to work up the courage to do something.)

The spider acted. In an instant he trans-located himself from the wall onto the shelf, hidden within the cords of a hair straightener. I squealed a little. (Which is pretty impressive, considering I felt like screaming.) In a moment of bravery I pulled the machinery away and swept the spider into the trashcan. I heard yet another squeaky-type yelp, which I assume came from my own mouth. 

My heart raced even faster. I reached into the trash bag and lifted up the tissue. ALIVE! The spider survived my attack and was coming at my with a vengeance. I tied that creamery grocery bag faster than I have ever tied anything ever in my entire life--and I guarantee you that there have probably been lots of other times that I've likely had to tie things really quickly. I can't name any such situations, but I'm sure they've happened.

I very methodically tripped through the dark hallway and tore open the closet door to obtain a second trash bag. There was no way I was going to let that spider hurt me or my roommates. (I tend to get pretty mama-bear over these ladies.) ANYWAY, Clarissa must have heard the little noise I was making, because she came out of her room asking who had died. 

I explained the situation. Especially why I was wearing her glasses. Freaked out a bit. Double bagged the spider. Ran out to the dumpster at 4:10 am. Hugged Clarissa. Went to bed. AND, finally fell asleep after I got over the creeper crawly feeling of thousands of spiders in my bed.

When Amanda and I got up this morning, I let her know about the circumstances of last night. She brushed it off! I almost DIED and she didn't care! She wouldn't have cared if I left the spider there! I reminded her of the scripture John 15:13 and she was all "whatever."

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Love love love my girls <3 :)

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