May is already one third over? I'm not even finished with April yet! Every day feels so long but the weeks are passing quickly.
I've finally accepted my answer: my next big step is waiting eight months to submit my mission papers.
After being told to wait, I kept praying for a direction. What do I do now? What's my next step? What does God have in store for me? I received a consistent answer--one that I didn't like. I have a lot of extra time to prepare. The changes I'll make over the next eight months won't come quickly, but will be line upon line, precept upon precept. I wish I could do something big, like build a school in Africa or spend a semester abroad or change the world. But that's not my answer. The big thing I'll be doing is waiting a big amount of time.
But I dislike thinking of it as waiting. I'm not waiting. I'm preparing. I'm becoming better. I'm doing the small and simple things every day that will bring about great things in the future.
I'm adjusting to a south-of-campus ward. I'm working part time cleaning the JFSB. I'm taking eight credits. I'm having companion study with my roommate. I'm going to the temple regularly. I'm hopefully influencing others for good. Moving forward with my life will help me overcome my anxiety, become long suffering, learn how to be hard working, invite the Holy Spirit, and prepare for full-time missionary service. When I think about how much I've changed in the past seven months since the mission age change announcement, I'm excited to see what I will be like in eight more months.
I'm praying praying praying, desperately trying to align my will with His.