Saturday, June 29, 2013

For Mom.

Dearest Mama Lor,

You would be really proud of the decision I made today.

I, Sarah Crandall, dropped a class. I dropped a class that I really don't want to take. And I know I'll need to take it eventually, but I definitely don't want to take it now. It's called "ISYS 201 - Intro to Information Systems Management." I die a little just thinking about it. The reading for this weekend was 40 pages long. 8.5 x 11 sized pages. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to open the 250 page packet. There is absolutely no way I'm going to spend my summer reading all of this stuff about excel and databases and instances and attributes and entities. The class itself is over two and a half hours long, in the late afternoon when I want to be sleeping. NO THANK YOU. 

So yeah, I dropped the class and it feels so good:) I'll keep the packet and book ($40) and save it for when I can actually stomach the course material without dying. (Probably after the mission.)

Instead, I'm going to take D&C. And I couldn't be more excited:)

LOVE,

Rah

Well friends. I haven't written in ten days and I feel like I should blog again. (I've really slacked in my blogging goals for the month of June.) I don't really know what else to say...so I guess I'll share a few things that I know:

Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins and shortcomings.
Jesus Christ lives.
Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer.
God is our loving Father in Heaven.
The only way to have true joy is to keep the commandments.
The only way to return to Heavenly Father (and to be like Him) is to have Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repent of our sins, be baptized in Christ's name by immersion, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end through covenant-making and -keeping.
Joseph Smith saw God and Jesus Christ.
Joseph Smith was a prophet of God who opened this great and last dispensation.
Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon by the power of God.
The Book of Mormon is a record of God's children in the ancient Americas and Christ's visitation to his "other sheep."
Joseph Smith restored the true church.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is God's true church.
Thomas S. Monson is God's prophet today.

Read the scriptures. Go to church. Keep the commandments. Get on your knees and know.

Aaand because I love America, here is a picture of me in DC:


 I love love love you all so much:)

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

a long one for the ones who care.

Well friends, Spring Term at BYU been an amazing journey for Sarah Kala Crandall.

Here's what I know you've all been dying to hear:

He broke up with me. 
Over text message. 
The day before my birthday. 

Will someone please justify my feelings so that I can feel validated? Thank you.

In dating and losing him, I've learned a few things. First, it is possible to have feelings for another person. Second, I will never ever date anyone who isn't absolutely crazy about me ever again. 

Boyfriend #1 was crazy about me. He gave me everything he could. Our relationship was incredibly deep. No longer was it cutesy and fun...love is hard, hard work. We were a powerhouse couple, and a great team. Boyfriend #2 liked me, and we did genuinely care about each other, but towards the end I could feel him pulling away. We didn't have much time to develop a strong relationship. So in losing Boyfriend #2, it's made me miss Boyfriend #1 again. I can't believe how lucky I was to have someone that in love with me. It's disappointing to know that we broke up at a time when we were both going through major health challenges. We weren't ourselves. However, I don't regret our separation. I've learned so much in the past ten months that I couldn't have learned otherwise. I'm so proud of his decision to faithfully serve a mission and I know that he is exactly where he is supposed to be.

In a similar manner, I know that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be: In Provo, making friends, working hard, preparing for a mission, and continuing my education. (Although that last part is really starting to wear on me.)

Besides that, my heart is still big and full and warm and happy. Every day, I have to make a decision. Do I let the constant rejection make me cold? No. I was given the spiritual gift of love for a reason--to bless the lives of others. I will love love love no matter what.

I know that God has a plan for me, including a wonderful husband. Being the planner that I am, it can be frustrating to not know who he is yet. But I'm sure that he will be everything I deserve and more. As for right now, I have the most amazing family on this side of the universe and I look forward to finding more ways to serve them. I know that one of the best ways that I can bless my family is to serve an honorable full-time mission.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

sanctification

That horrible moment when you realize you’re not enough.

I have been living far below my potential. I have emotionally closed myself off from my best friends. I haven’t been reading my scriptures diligently nor doing the things that I know I need to do to prepare for my mission. I’m slacking in my classes. I go to bed every night knowing that I didn’t do all that I could have, or should have. Where does the time go???

Last night while praying, I felt the comfort and peace that I’ve been missing for so long. Moroni 8:26 says, “Because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love.” That’s what it means to be sanctified—to be filled with the love of Jesus Christ. It cleanses us by purging our desires and replacing them with God’s will. Once you’ve given your life to God, you can’t turn back. It’s all or nothing. It’s a painful—yet healing—process. To be wholly aligned to His will is complete conversion.


On my own I’m not enough. But because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I’m not on my own.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The days have been sunny for Sarah :)

I have been so so so overwhelmingly blessed and loved.

I love my job. I love my coworkers. I love love love BYU. My professors are fantastic. My classes are worthwhile. My roommates are thoughtful. The temple is true. I couldn't ask for a better family. Provo sure is a beautiful place to be. I love June and the sun and life and love and people. I love smiling. And I know that all of the people in my life are lucky to have me in theirs.