Wednesday, September 18, 2013

"happiness is an inside job."

I saw that quote on the Lehi Fort Knox Storage sign. I couldn't agree more:)

This post is semi-related to the quote, but also includes some of my thoughts and feelings one week before entering the MTC:

When we truly understand the purpose of life, the trials placed before us become opportunities. "This life is the time for men to prepare to meet God." Everything we experience is preparatory to our returning to His presence. The way we deal with our challenges influences our progress and conversion. When we really understand that, we can be of good cheer knowing that our trials make us more like God.

The past few weeks have been really difficult for me because of the things and people I've given up. I finally realized why it's so frustrating to me. I've been babysitting nearly three or four times a week for this lady in my ward, and I love her life. I love her kids, her home, her situation, everything. I want so badly to be a wife and a mother! And it was right in front of me! It was in my grasp, but I let it go.

Why? Because I want to serve a mission. I want to prepare for motherhood. I want to serve God! I want these experiences. Because I prayed about it and it felt right. Because I don't think I'm ready, and because even though he's an amazing guy, I don't think it's right. The past few weeks have been hard because I'm human, and I feel human things. I'm so grateful that the atonement can heal us from every mortal weakness. In fact, Christ's perfect atonement and resurrection heal us from mortality!

Despite all of the difficult thinking and decision making and reaffirming I've gone through, I have never been happier in my life :) I feel no regret. I know that I made the right decision and I know that I will be a wonderful missionary because I am worthy of guidance from the Holy Ghost. I'm grateful for everything I have ever gone through that has brought me to this point.

In six and a half days, I will enter the Provo MTC, set apart as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I testify that nothing will bring you more happiness than serving God :)

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